I spent over two hours at the hospital today, taking all sorts of tests for myself and the baby. Good news, everyone is healthy. I ate 18 jelly beans in 5 minutes and waited an hour, and my glucose test came back really low (110 is a very good result). My blood lab results were all within range. The baby non-stress test was excellent and the nurse stopped the test after 15 minutes (instead of the usual 20) because it was moving lots with a perfect series of heartbeats.
Based on how things have been going, all I need to do is show up at the hospital when I'm ready to deliver the baby; but no medical expert will allow me to skip out on the weekly prenatal monitoring.