Or lack of. Story of my life. I can't focus.

When I start getting into a task, I find a way to distract myself. I purposely follow my other thought, look away, grab a bite to eat, go to the bathroom, pick my hair, open another web tab, stare off into space; but never stay on my task for longer than a solid minute. What is wrong with me? Like I am rejecting the idea of productivity and learning, because I am all over the place and just on the surface with everything. I don't get deep.

I need deep focus. And it's hard. In my world, distractions and shiny objects are at every turn. I seek out distractions, scrolling pictures, and other things to glance at. I don't need anything to hold my attention, because there are enough shiny objects to give 5 seconds to each, and to stay busy and pass time. But did I accomplish anything? No.

Why is it so hard for me to focus? Is it my brain? I feel like my brain is loose in my head not making any connections. Just floating. But no, I don't need an ADHD pill.

Am I just avoiding real work? Is it the task at hand? Am I just doing the wrong thing? Trying to finish a project at work can take me forever, because I'm just not that into it. Uninspired and unmotivated. But put me in the kitchen, and I'm in the zone. Lost for hours. Give me a decorating project, and you won't hear from me. I remember in high school I painted and redecorated our family room, and that day I didn't even eat because I was so enthralled with the project. To not eat is very unlike me! So yes, I need an inspiring project. But not everything in life can be that way.

I need to learn deep focus, to be productive at work and at the more mundane things in life. I am going to check out more of Cal Newport's work on this subject, and his book titled Deep Work. If you are interested in this topic, check out his stuff. And happy deep focus and productivity!